As professionals working with neurodivergent children—those with autism, ADHD, sensory processing differences, and other developmental variations—we know that holiday seasons present unique challenges, holiday transitions. While families navigate pumpkin patches, Halloween festivities, Thanksgiving gatherings, and winter celebrations, the children we serve often struggle with the very elements that make holidays special: changes in routine, sensory overload, and unpredictable social demands.
Here’s how we can better support both the children and families during these transitions.
Understanding the Holiday Challenge
For neurodivergent children, holidays disrupt the predictability that helps them regulate and function. Consider what “holiday season” actually means:
Routine Disruptions:
- School schedule changes or breaks
- Different sleep and meal times
- Cancelled or rescheduled therapy sessions
- Travel to unfamiliar places
- Visitors in their safe spaces
Sensory Overwhelm:
- Crowded stores and events
- Loud music and decorations
- Strong smells (cooking, candles, perfumes)
- Uncomfortable clothing expectations
- Temperature changes
- Visual overstimulation
Social Demands:
- Extended family gatherings
- Expected social interactions
- Pressure to perform or participate
- Navigating new social rules
- Managing excitement or disappointment
The result? We often see increased challenging behaviors, meltdowns, shutdowns, sleep disruption, and heightened anxiety precisely when families are already stressed.
Our Professional Responsibility
As therapists, educators, and support professionals, we have a critical role to play:
We can’t eliminate holiday stress, but we can equip families with tools to navigate it. We can normalize their experiences. We can advocate for accommodations. And most importantly, we can shift from trying to make neurodivergent children “handle” holidays to making holidays more neurodivergent-friendly.
Evidence-Based Strategies to Share with Families
1. Visual Preparation (Not Just Day-Of Support)
Research consistently shows that visual supports reduce anxiety and improve transitions for neurodivergent individuals. But one-time use isn’t enough.
What to recommend:
- Create visual schedules showing the altered routine for entire holiday period (not just event day)
- Use social stories starting 1-2 weeks before events, not the morning of
- Provide photos of locations, people who will attend, and what the space looks like
- Make visual “exit plans” so children know leaving is always an option
Why it works: Visual information is processed differently than verbal instructions and remains available for repeated reference, reducing cognitive load during already overwhelming situations.
2. Sensory Accommodation Planning
Don’t just tell families “bring headphones.” Help them create comprehensive sensory support plans.
Proactive strategies to teach:
- Conduct sensory audits of planned environments (what will be loud, bright, crowded, smelly?)
- Pack sensory toolkits: noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, fidgets, comfort items, preferred snacks
- Identify quiet retreat spaces before events start
- Plan sensory breaks into the schedule (not just when meltdown happens)
- Modify clothing expectations—comfort over tradition
Professional insight: When we help families anticipate sensory challenges rather than react to them, we prevent escalation rather than manage crisis.
3. Redefine Participation
One of the most harmful expectations is that neurodivergent children must participate in holidays the same way neurotypical children do.
Help families understand:
- Parallel participation is valid (being present but not fully engaged)
- Abbreviated participation is success (arriving for 20 minutes instead of 3 hours)
- Alternative participation is creative (video call instead of in-person, helping setup instead of attending party)
- Non-participation is sometimes the right choice
Reframe success: Shift from “Did they do everything expected?” to “Did they have a positive experience at their comfort level?”
4. Maintain Core Routines
Complete routine abandonment often leads to dysregulation that lasts weeks. Help families identify non-negotiables.
Guide families to:
- Maintain sleep routines even during breaks
- Keep meal times relatively consistent
- Continue key sensory regulation activities (swinging, jumping, quiet time)
- Preserve important daily rituals (bedtime books, morning routines)
Clinical rationale: These anchors provide regulation and predictability when everything else is in flux.
What to Build Into Your Practice This Season
Before Holiday Breaks
In Therapy Sessions:
- Explicitly teach and practice skills needed for holidays (greeting relatives, saying “no thank you,” asking for breaks)
- Create social stories together
- Role-play challenging situations
- Develop personalized coping strategies
With Families:
- Hold pre-holiday consultations
- Provide written strategies and visual supports
- Discuss realistic expectations
- Create backup plans
- Normalize that holidays may not look “typical”
During Holiday Breaks
Offer:
- Abbreviated drop-in sessions if possible
- Email/text check-ins for families who need support
- Video consultations for troubleshooting
- Access to visual supports library
Remember: When regular therapy pauses, support often disappears exactly when it’s most needed.
After Holidays
Debrief and Learn:
- What worked? What didn’t?
- What surprised families?
- What will they change next time?
- How long did it take the child to re-regulate?
- Document for future planning
Validate: Acknowledge that holidays are hard. If it was difficult, that doesn’t mean anyone failed.
Language Matters: How We Talk About Holiday Participation
Instead of: “They need to learn to handle family gatherings”
Try: “How can we make family gatherings accessible for them?”
Instead of: “Just push through, it’s only one day”
Try: “What accommodations would make this sustainable?”
Instead of: “Everyone else’s kids can do this”
Try: “Every child has different needs, and meeting those needs is what matters”
Instead of: “They’re ruining the holiday”
Try: “The holiday structure isn’t working for them—how do we adapt?”
This language shift moves from expecting the child to change to changing the environment. That’s where our professional expertise should focus.
Red Flags: When to Intervene More Intensively
Watch for families who:
- Are forcing participation despite clear distress signals
- Have unrealistic expectations about “normalcy”
- Lack any backup or exit plans
- Show signs of burnout or crisis
- Are isolating due to shame about their child’s needs
These families need more than strategies—they need validation, support, and possibly respite resources.
Collaborate Across Systems
Holiday success requires coordination:
Schools: Prepare students before breaks, ease back-in after Therapists: Maintain some contact during breaks when possible
Medical providers: Ensure medication/medical needs are addressed
Families: Communicate about what’s working
Share resources across disciplines. The social story OT creates can help the teacher. The visual schedule from school can support SLP goals. The sensory strategies from home can inform everyone.
The Bottom Line
Holidays will be challenging for neurodivergent children and their families. That’s not failure—that’s reality.
Our job isn’t to make these children “better at holidays.” Our job is to:
- Provide tools that reduce overwhelm
- Validate that different isn’t wrong
- Advocate for accommodations and understanding
- Support families in creating sustainable, joyful celebrations that work for their child
- Remember that professional support shouldn’t disappear when it’s needed most
The most important thing we can tell families: There is no “right” way to celebrate holidays. The right way is what works for your family and honors your child’s needs.
When we shift from compliance to compassion, from forcing participation to facilitating access, we create holidays that can actually be enjoyable for neurodivergent children and their families.
Professional Development Action Items
This holiday season, commit to:
☐ Creating holiday-specific visual supports for your caseload
☐ Scheduling pre-holiday consultations with families
☐ Providing some form of support during breaks
☐ Documenting what works for future reference
☐ Advocating for accommodations in family/school/community settings
☐ Examining your own biases about “typical” holiday participation
☐ Connecting families with community resources
The work we do preparing families for holidays prevents crises, reduces burnout, and creates positive experiences for the children we serve.
That’s professional practice at its best.
Share Your Insights
What strategies have you found most effective for supporting neurodivergent children through holiday transitions?
What challenges do the families you work with face most during holidays?
How does your practice provide support during holiday breaks?
Share in the comments—your experience helps the entire professional community improve our practice.
Evidence-based organizations:
- Autism Society: autismsociety.org
- Child Mind Institute: childmind.org
- CHADD (for ADHD): chadd.org
- Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation: spdstar.org